Rednecks love a man in a bikini

Let’s start things of by acknowledging that I’m nuts. There is not doubt about it, I’m pretty much crazy and have no shame about it. So, just over a week ago, when some friends and I got into a conversation about tubing down the river, things went downhill fast. It started with Brian declaring that he wanted to tube instead of dive while we were getting fills at the dive shop. I suggested that my pasty while body would not do well floating down the river and I’d end up a french fry by the end of the day. Cheryl suggested I should cover up, and then somehow we ended up talking about wearing a pink bikini down the river on a tube. From the minute the thought came into being and was voiced, I knew it must be done.

Tubing at Ginnie Springs, courtesy Amanda Cotton

Everyone laughed at the though of my fat white ass in a bikini. They even started showing me potential fashion as we stopped into the Ginnie Springs store. This past week, I spent time looking for the perfect bikini and accessories and enlisting the help of friend and awesome professional photographer, Amanda Cotton, with her trusty partner and “monkey” Jeff Schreiber. Amanda immediately agreed to photograph the event, and we even started teasing it on Facebook. She posted she was doing a bikini model shoot and she had offers from lots of guys to be her assistant. We laughed.

Smoke on the water

I started at Wal-Mart to find the perfect bikini. I wanted to stay far away from a thong bottom (there is art and then there is visual napalm). I found a pair of bikini trunks and a non-matching neon bikini top. When I got them home, I found out that an XL women’s bottom was too big for me….go figure. So, I had to bring them back and told the customer service person they were too big for me. Imagine the look on their face, when I went and exchanged them for a smaller pair of even brighter women’s bikini bottoms. I also acquired a cigar, a tall boy of Bud Light, some pretty awesome sunglasses, a pair of hot pink flip flops, and a floppy straw hat. “The look” was complete.

Buxom Bikini Model

I showed up on Saturday morning and met Amanda and Jeff. Amanda was excited for the shoot, and Jeff was a little freaked out I have to say, Jeff was a really good sport about the whole thing. I know he had a good time. We decided to do the bikini shoot first and then dive where both Amanda and I would shoot underwater photos in the cave. Amanda got her camera together while I readied for my debut as a bikini model. I got the cigar out, poured out the beer and filled it with gatorade (yes the beer can is just a prop), and put on the bikini. Amanda came over to do the catch on my bikini top and then we were off to shoot.

Acknowledging my public

I have to say, I don’t think I’ve had that much fun in a very long time. We posed and walked all over. I had two photographers shooting (Amanda with her camera and Jeff with mine). It looked like an actualy photo shoot. I found out that one of the staff actually radioed up to the main office “Tell Rose there is a guy down here in a bikini and there are photographers with him”

We made our way to the water with my tube and Amanda got in the water with me and her underwater camera rig. She did some great shots in the water, that I am thrilled with. We laughed and took photos for a while. The cave divers in the water were noticeably apprehensive. They really had no idea what to make of the whole thing. I rested my feet on some Cypress stumps, which I later learned housed a water moccasin.

Amanda was laughing the whole time, and I was choking on the nasty cigar in my mouth.

Bikini Model Cover Shot

Relaxing at Ginnie Springs

After the in water shots we headed back to the parking area where we went out on the roadway to get some reactions. I have to say, the rednecks, they love a man in a bikini. They were going by with their Redneck flags flying high and they would catch a sight of me and slow down, hooting and hollering. The girls appeared a little jealous, but the guys were big fans, almost too big.

Communing with the Red Necks

We then walked to the far entrance to the water to get more reactions. The tubers went nuts. This was the scene of one of the funniest interchanges of the day. Some guy yelled “You’re so hot, that is awesome, show us the backside” So, I turned around and shook the money maker and then he yelled “Now, that’s just gay”. I was dying. I got in the water and got mowed down by a few people putting tubes in the water, which made things even funnier.

Hanging with the tubers

We headed back to the car and took a few more shots as I got out of the bikini and said goodbye to the bikini….for now at least

No, Jeff, it's not "that kind of photo shoot"

We then geared up and headed to the water to dive in the caves. It was going to be dueling dome ports. I must confess, I had camera envy. I have a 6 inch dome port and Amanda has an 8 inch. Trust me, 2 inches makes a world of difference. So, we headed into the cave and Amanda got some awesome shots of me. These were the first really good underwater shots taken of me. I’m always behind the lens, which is where I prefer to be anyhow.

Me coming out of the Corn Flakes

Jeff and I in the Gallery

Me on Deco in the Eye

I was able to get some decent shots of Jeff and Amanda, although they are not as awesome as Amanda’s. That’s why she is the professional. I was very fortunate to be able to shoot with her. After the first dive, Jeff took all our tanks to get fills and amazingly got the same parking space when he returned (it was a parking zoo). We did a second dive, and I left the camera, while Amanda took hers.

Amanda with her rig

Jeff might be stuck

Amanda and Jeff pulling thorough the Eye

After diving, we dried off and headed to The Great Outdoors for dinner. We shared some laughs over the day’s adventures and shared some great conversation. As we left, we talked about getting together again soon (although probably without the bikini). I had an amazing day, and was happy to spend it with great friends like Amanda and Jeff.

Me with my camera

PS- Please check out Amanda’s website and blog, as she is one of the most talented people I know. You won’t be disappointed!!

~ by doncurriephotos on May 18, 2009.